Thursday, May 27, 2004


Tonight the roommates and I attended our friends' production of The Importance of Being Earnest. An altogether good show . . . except for a select few audience members.

The girl sitting behind us with the horse laugh was the least of our worries. She has only her genetic makeup to blame for that, which is admittedly most unfortunate.

A more important problem was the trio sitting in front of us. The trouble with them began even before the show, as the girl in front of me turned to ask Jen to stop kicking the back of her chair, when Jen was, in reality, tapping the floor behind the girl in front of her. This girl in front of me proceeded to suck on a lollie for the duration of the show and loudly unwrap something, after which she returned to the performance with rapt attention. Her friends, on the other hand, were evidently so bored with the show that they proceeded to play hangman on their programs, talk continually until about the last 15 minutes of the play, and attempt to balance their accessories on the chairbacks in front of them. I deemed this noteworthy.

I took out my notepad and jotted down the following: "If you were bored with the show, you should have left."

I handed it to them promptly as I left. Without a word. Just a folded slip of paper and a quick turn to leave.

I figure that if actors get notes from a director after a show when they've done something wrong, why shouldn't the audience also get them? These audience memebers obviously have no appreciation for live theatre, as they were not only disrespectful to the audience members around them, but to the actors as well. So they needed a note to help them remember to correct this behavior in the future.

I will become like Dorothy Parker with these notes. All shall fear my scathing pen and conveniently placed notepad.

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